Trust.... Not for the Faint of Heart

Today the hubbie said something that I really needed to hear, "I trust you."

A lot of the transitions around this move involve tremendous trust between partners.  You have to trust your partner that he or she helped you make the right decision.  You have to trust them to move your family toward goals as you both had hoped.  You must trust that the other person is up for the adventure - and the hardship - as much as you are.  There can be no passive aggressiveness, no manipulation, no beating around the bush.  When you decide to make a life-changing decision together, trust is at the top of the necessity list.

We've had a bit of rough go of it the last few weeks.  With hubbie's travel, our family celebrations in NYC, and illnesses all around, the stress levels in this house are extremely high.  But the trust is there.  It is our bedrock.  I don't think a couple could do what we're doing without it; the relationship would tear at the weakest points.

The Small Things.....

Here are my challenges for the moment.

We do not yet have an apartment to move to in Nairobi.  Lord, help me!

I want to bring my desktop computer but am terrified that packing it in checked luggage will mean that it's garbage when I arrive.  Gotta find a way to take it carry on.

What do I do with J this weekend when I've packed up all his toys?  Poor kiddo.  Thank god for public parks, pools, and toy stores.

Get all the papers in order.

Stay sane.

Crisis of Belonging: Where to Vote?

As we wind down this house in FoCo and accomplish nearly every task on our to-do list, one remains:  where do we register to vote?

At first pass, there is no easy solution:  We no longer live in AZ, despite maintaining a residence there for three years recently and feeling very connected to the place.  We're already booted from the registration roles in that state.  Our home is now CO, but only for these few short months.  Will we return here, who knows?  We are having our mail forwarded to DW's parents' home in TX, but I've never lived there and don't know anything about the local politics.  (Except this stuff, which disgusts me.)

A quick internet search provides the answer:  Dems Abroad helps people just like us cast our ballots.  Apparently we can use our most recent legal address (AZ, I guess) and have our ballot mailed, emailed, or faxed to us.  Do I really believe that it will be counted in a state that has such a hard time counting its own regularly cast ballots?  Not sure.  But it is better than nothing.

Ok, one more task done.  On to the rest of the list.

Hard Transitions

I just removed my engagement ring, so that I can put in safe keeping while I'm away.  Just one of the hard parts of this transition.

Real Reality Becoming....

So this Kenya plan is really happening.  We have tickets and everything.  Our belongings are moving slowly into storage.  We're making choices as to what to bring and what to leave behind.  We are agonizing too much about little things.  But, as a family, we're still having fun, playing together as much as possible and trying to learn from every aspect of this experience.

In some ways, not only are we going to the opposite side of the world, we're going to an opposite type of place.  Fort Collins is a lovely, pleasant, white, safe location where lots of things can be assumed.  You can leave your door unlocked with a pretty good certainty of nobody bothering your home.  There is vast wealth so that people are concerned with secondary needs.  There is a lot of sameness.  All this quiet and calm has made me somewhat uncomfortable here, but it is also very pleasantville, easy, and luxurious without ostentation.  I know why people love it here, but I would prefer a place with a bit more grit.  Nairobi, by contrast, is anything but white and same.  It is very multicultural, very dangerous (in places), with huge gulfs in socio-economic condition throughout the city.  I've already discussed some of the weird reasons that people say they like the city, but if you are looking for grit, I'm sure Nairobi has plenty of it.  

Relocation Quandaries

Since we're about to embark on our newest adventure, I started thinking about the best ways to get all thoughts, pictures and other stuff down for posterity.  So here goes... blogging attempt number .... eh... too many to count.

A few thoughts on our planned relocation temporarily to Nairobi.
So far, we've only heard a few good things about the city.
1. It is a great base to travel from.
2.  Hired help is cheap enough to have it in abundance.
3. It has "everything you need."

I'll address each in turn.
1.  This is a weird reason to like a place. As DW said this morning, "It's sort of like appreciating a restaurant for its atmosphere."  Sure, that's a nice bonus - to have a good atmosphere in a restaurant.  But it isn't the raison d'etre of the restaurant.  You wouldn't overlook crappy food for good atmosphere, just like wouldn't like a city just because it is easy to get away from.

2. This is also strange to me.  Look, I am not one to snub my nose at inexpensive house help.  I need help more than your average mom/grad student/wife/person.  Saying that I'm not a good housekeeper is an understatement.  And childcare is pricey.  BUT, and this is a big but, people who clean homes and take care of children deserve significant remuneration because they do hard tasks.  And I feel yucky about liking a place because some people in that place are willing to work for low (and I mean super low) wages, while other people have lots of extra to go around, then that's weird, right?

OK.

That feels good to say.  But I guess I should probably get a bit more real and admit to myself, that lots of places on the planet are like I described above.  Dare I say, most places are.  And since I've been able to afford (with the help of parents) the occasional house cleaner and regular daycare, I have to get serious about how much I really agree with what I said.  Is there more exploitation involved when you are dealing in a postcolonial atmosphere, where there is a racial divide?  Certainly.  Is there any way to live in Nairobi and not be part of that exploitation?  I don't know.  The one thing I do know, is that just because this pay gap exists does not seem to be an exciting endorsement of a city.  But I'm trying to keep an open mind, OK?

3.  Having everything you need is also a big deal.  I remember when I arrived in Amman I thought I would certainly do my grocery shopping at the crowded but deal-filled markets downtown.  But realistically, I was pregnant and tired a lot of the time and not able to schlep down to the market even if the deals were super.  So I shopped at the very western grocery nearby my house.  And it had basically everything I needed and that did make my life quite a bit nicer.  So yes, I am excited that we are going somewhere that will have modern medical facilities, baby gear, and all the fixins of our usual life.  This attribute certainly makes a city tolerable, but does that make that city desirable?

As I said, I'm trying to keep an open mind.  And I hope to report that Nairobi has it's own intrinsic qualities that makes it worth the trip for all of you who are planning on coming.  At the very least, we have a cute one-year-old to play with.  And giraffes.  I heard there's gonna be giraffes.